The Pregnancy
Pregnancy has been one of the most special and yet one of the most challenging experiences I've gone through. I feel almost guilty complaining because, honestly, my early pregnancy was relatively easy. I didn't have any morning sickness, though I did deal with some pretty uncomfortable acid reflux. But aside from that, my first two trimesters were simple.
Then came the third trimester, and things started to get tougher. I was diagnosed with chronic hypertension, which wasn’t a huge issue but did require me to be monitored twice a week. If you've ever had a non-stress test (NST), you know they can take forever—especially when your baby is like mine and isn't very active. By the time the third trimester hit, I was also feeling drained, and on top of that, I was still working full-time and teaching dance, which, looking back, was probably self-inflicted exhaustion.
If I could offer one tip for pregnancy, it would be to sleep whenever you can, for as long as you can. I, of course, didn’t listen to that advice, but I really should have rested more.
As for how we ended up pregnant—well, we didn’t exactly plan it. We put it in God’s hands, and to be honest, I thought I’d struggle to conceive because of my health issues. But God had different plans. Just four months into our marriage, we found out I was pregnant—a little earlier than we had expected. We were still figuring out how to be a married couple, so the idea of adding a baby to the mix was a bit intimidating.
As we neared the end of my pregnancy we had quite a few challenges, a month before he was due we still didn’t have a place to live (no, we weren’t homeless, but the apartment we had wasn’t set up for a baby and wasn’t even big enough for three people). We didn’t have any savings for maternity leave, and all our baby gear was still in boxes. If I had gone into labor early, we would have been in big trouble.
But here’s the thing we forgot—everything happens in God’s timing, not ours. My induction date was pushed back, which gave us more time. Then, out of nowhere, the perfect house became available, and we were able to move in quickly and get everything set up. God provided people to help us move, more than enough money for maternity leave, and so much more.
When I’m stressed, I often forget that I have no control over anything. No matter how hard I try, I can’t fix things without God’s help. As a control freak, that’s a tough lesson to learn, but it’s one I need to keep working on
The reality of bringing a child into this world is overwhelming. The world feels dark and uncertain, and it’s frightening to think about raising someone you love so deeply in a time like this. Moreover, trying to raise a child for God, especially when the world constantly tells you that this is not the way, is a significant responsibility. God doesn't give you more than you can handle, as long as you face it with Him by your side. We are hopeless without Him, but with Him, we can achieve more than we ever thought possible.
With all that said, remember it's okay to feel anxious and scared, or sad and unsure, or to experience any of those emotions. I felt so many different things throughout my entire pregnancy, including feelings that seemed wrong, making me think I was already failing as a mom because of those thoughts and feelings. But I wasn't, and you're not! Pregnancy is a beautiful journey, but it's also scary and demands so much from you. Yes, you receive a precious gift at the end, but you spend 10 months suffering and feeling like your mind and body are not fully yours (because they're not). So, feel your feelings and don't judge yourself for them.
Comments
Post a Comment